STORM VERSION

BATTLE ARCHIVES

Storm Version Battles Six to Ten

Battle #6: Have you suffered any childhood trauma?
Date: January 16, 2001
Location: Crimson Psychiatry Inc.
Player: Dr. Crimson
Author: Sheep

Right then. What seems to be the trouble, Mister...Dent?
Well, you see-hey, where'd this spiffy green text come from?
Webmasters bought it on special. Came with a set of steak knives, you know.
Ah, I see. Anyway, my problem.
Yes, just let it all out. Go on.
Well...you see...there was...I was a character in a version that got blown up and I was killed three times and two times were being snapped in half by a giant puff thing and the other time I got erased and now I'm back in some terribly unpopular version with very little readers and I'll probably only be here for one battle anyway!
...it's a good job I'm not one of those psychiatrists that take notes...
Can you help me?
Of course I can.
CRIMSON puts on FALSE SMILE!
...it doesn't really help me if you TELL them it's false, does it?
You're a great idol to Narrators you know. I just wanted to be one of the few to piss you off.
Ah.
Anyway, Mr. Dent, I'm pretty sure I can help you.
Oh good! What medication are you giving me?
A new kind, actually. I shall demonstrate.
Carol!
SECRETARY: "Yes, Dr. Crimson?"
You suck.
CAROL flew across the room in pain!
MARK DENT feels overwhelmed with joy!
Now, you know that puff that snapped you in half once?
Twice, actually.
Er...right, twice then. Anyway, think of him for me.
Okay.
He sucks.
MARK DENT fell off his chair in pleasure!
And you hear that Narrator?
Yes?
He sucks too.
NARRATOR is SPEECHLESS!
...that's your idea of speechless?
Yes.
You suck.
...
That's better.
I can't thank you enough doctor! You've changed my life!
Oh, don't worry about that. Just leave your money on the desk on your way out.
MARK DENT left!
Ah, another client satisfied. Carol, do I have any important appointments this afternoon?
CAROL: "Er...there's a Mr. J. Ross at two, apparently he's ready to hang himself after your comment on one of his "pokey-battles"
Good lord, it isn't the Beavis and Butthead one, is it?
CAROL: "No...that one's tomorrow, at five"
Ah, 'tis a busy life I lead. Pop down to the coffee shop would you Carol?
CAROL: "Certainly doctor"
Oh, and don't go to that one on the corner, will you?
CAROL: "Why not?"
It sucks, of course.
CAROL: "I'll put its manager down for Wednesday at four..."

View/Post comments on this battle

Battle #7: Starring Ditto
Date: January 20, 2000
Location: Ditto36's Closet
Player: Ditto36
Author: Duo/Vivi

DITTO is in CLOSET!
..Uh..
DITTO used UH!
DITTO says "..Uh.."
DITTO doesn't know what to WEAR!
..Uh.. o_O
Ja?
DITTO used JA!
DITTO picked out JAMAICAN SHIRT!
Va.
DITTO used VA!
DITTO picked out Bavarian Cream Filled Pants
DITTO likes DONUTS too much!
Ooooh... Shiny Donut thingy!
DITTO used EAT!
o_O
DITTO ATE PANTS!
..Uh..
PANTS were fully EATEN!
Ditto Saltwater Taffy! Er..
DITTO was instantly TELEPORTED to OCEAN!

Location: Ocean

DITTO used SALTWATER TAFFY!
TAFFY came out of the OCEAN in DITTO!
TAFFY is HUGE!
UH? OH!
OCEAN greatly fell..
..Uh..?
...on DITTO!
DONUT!!!! Er... OCEAN!!!!
DITTO is REACHING for SOMETHING in his PANTS...
...POCKET!
O_o;
DITTO got out WORMS2 CD!
DITTO is going BACK to his HOUSE in the BIG CITY!

Location: STORM VERSION STAFF ROOM MEETING PLACE THINGY

I want to play Worms 2!
Borrow my CD.
Ok, thanks ^_^
No problem.

Location: Big City

SHEEP appeared!
ALL HAIL...uh...GRAPE JELLO!
SHEEP is SHEEP....in the BIG CITY! (Yes.. You saw it coming from a million miles away.. It was so terribly unfunny you just couldn't laugh. Now you're going to laugh........because I command you to. LAUGH. LAUGH YOUR FAT OR SOMEONE LARGE REAR ENDS OFF! LAUGH!!!! MUAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH- Ok, I'll stop...)
Sheepo Keepo, W2W2W2?
DITTO wants to FIGHT!
SHEEP wants to FIGHT!
Get'm DONUTS #23098!
DITTO sent out DONUTS #23098!
Um. Heh heh. I chose ... hm... I have to pick one of Duo's stupid teams... he's got nothing but stupid teams here.. Go loco!
SHEEP sent out LOCO!
DONUT-FILLED DONUT used JUMP!
Yay! Jump!! JUMP! JUMP!!!
DONUT-FILLED DONUT is JUMPING up and DOWN!
DONUT is JUMPING on WATER!
O_O; How?
DONUT-FILLED DONUT used SINK!
What? DONUT-FILLED DONUT is evolving!
Oooooooooooooooh! Shiny Donut evolve thingy!
DONUT-FILLED DONUT evolved into WATER-FILLED DONUT!
x_x
Yay.
WATER-FILLED DONUT tests the WATER! [Water-filled Donut fell into the water]
WATER-FILLED DONUT fainted!
Send out next WORM?
Yes.
Ok.
...
...
...Donut.
...DITTO sent out a DEFAULT DONUT!
........Uh...
Heh heh heh.
LOCO is up!
CRAZY used ROPELIKEANIDIOT!
RAZY is SLEEPING with the FISHIES! [Crazy fell into the water]
LMAO
CRAZY fainted!
Send out next WORM?
Go Crazierest!
SHEEP sent out CRAZIEREST!
DEFAULT DONUT hatches a DEFAULT PLAN! [It's Default Donut's turn]
Uh. Use Minigun.
DEFAULT DONUT used MINIGUN!
MINIGUN's POWER SETTINGS were on MAXIMUM!
LEVEL was DESTROYED!
COMPUTER used EXPLODE!
...Uh....
BAA!
BIG CITY SANK like the TITANIC! [Big City fell into the water]
ACK
SHEEP used RUN!
Got away safely!
WATER used HYDRO PUMP!
DITTO was KILLED!
BATTLE was DECLARED a DRAW!

Location: Storm Version Meeting place thingy

So we killed off Ditto.
What'd ya think I was gonna make it do?
That was good, Duo.
CrimsonKing: "Actually, it sucked."
GUARDS!
CrimsonKing: "It sucks to be you!"
GAURDS ARRESTED CRIMSONKING!
CRIMSONKING was SENTENCED to LIFE!
This sentence is about life and it's very long and it has Crimson King in it... which, come to think of it, is in this sentence about life; Right here, that is (Crimson King is here, see?), and this sentence will go on for the rest of Crimson King's life...(If you are Crimson King, Click Here)
Bye CrimsonKing.
Baahahahahaha!
*** CrimsonKing was kicked from #battle (Arrested (Police (Trespassing on private property.)))

View/Post comments on this battle (Go on...you know you want to...please?)