STORM VERSION
Where Crystal and Cloud collide!
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31st January, 01: Battle 9 (Second in the trilogy, written by Duo) is up.
25th January, 01: Battle 8 (First in the trilogy) is up. Scroll down for more information.
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Special Feature: Mr. Hazard's Home Page is now here, on Storm!
Welcome to Fan Site 73, storming the network since January 2nd, 2001.
Please enjoy the combined efforts of Duo/Vivi (Crystal Webmaster) and Sheep (Cloud Webmaster)
Important News:
The next three Storm battles (8-10) shall be a trilogy. So readers can read all three at once, the lot will be posted on the main page. Then, once Battle 11 is posted, they'll be shuffled off to the archives, and a special link will be placed so the "Webmaster's Guide to Hiring Someone" battles are easily accessed. These are pretty important, you know. So, without further ado, I present to you (rhyme lime) this epic saga. -Sheep, Storm Version Co-Webmaster
Battle #9: The Webmaster's Guide to Hiring Someone - A Trilogy in Three Parts
Part Two: No need for l337 Date: 31st January, 2001 Author: Duo Player: Sir Chargon
P.S I don't wanna here any shint from any readers about my not so good l337.. so if it bothers you then you suck... haha, you suck! :) -Author
Alright, so much for bloody Flame Version Matt thingy.
Duo, do you think we should call in the next applicant?
...Duo?
DUO is playing WORMS ARMAGEDDON DEMO!
Just great!
Can you get him, Narrator?
DUO clicked QUIT!
POPUP appeared!
POPUP: Sorry, this is not a feature of the Demo.
What the bloody hell kinda demo is that!? It doesn't let you QUIT!?!?!
HELP ME!
SIR CHARGON appeared!
..Are you the next applicant?
Urr|-|?
...
1'm l337 m4n! 1'm |-|3r3 70 54\/3 |)u0!
O_o;
SIR CHARGON is l337!
DUO used CTRL+ESCAPE!
It isn't very effective!
1'll |-|3lp!
SIR CHARGON unplugged DUO's COMPUTER!
DUO's COMPUTER fainted!
...!?
DUO's COMPUTER RESTARTED!
Oh, thanks..I think.
ASCII appeared!
ASCII: /V\Ë®®¥ Ç|-|®î§t/V\å§
SHEEP shileds EYES!
MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!! AGHHHH!!
j00 \/\/1ll 83 |)3|)! 1 \/\/1ll |<1ll j00 \/\/17|-| /\/\Y 5UP3R10|2 5|<1llZ!
SIR CHARGON puts on his CUSTOM "j00 |>3|> p|-|00" T-SHIRT!
ASCII: î Ðöñ't ñËËÐ å §þËÇîå| §Hî®t, ßËÇåµ§Ë î'|| kî|| ¥öµ ËîtHË® wå¥.
\/\/153 45(11, 4R3 j00? \/\/3ll j00 83 |>3|>.
This is getting weird... their voices seem scrambled... as if they are in a different language.
Almost like a cow, eh?
...
You're acting stupid today.
I know..I think. Hey, what day is it today?
Today is..um-
17'5 \/\/3|)|\|35|)4Y.
ASCII: ñö, ît'§ tHµ®§Ðå¥.
...4lR16|-|7, l37'5 |=16|-|7, 45(11!
ASCII: ß®îñg ît öñ!!
SIR CHARGON wants to FIGHT!
ASCII wants to FIGHT!
NARRATOR thinks this BATTLE will be STUPID!
It will be.
What's the point? Chargon will win, isn't it obvious?
|-|3|-|!
ASCII: wHåt måk˧ ¥öµ §ö §µ®Ë?
What'd it say?
Don't bother trying to pronounce it...
..you might implode.
Check this out, Duo!
SHEEP OF DOOM has TURPENTINE!
TURPENTINE: WARNING! If swallowed, can be harmful or FATAL, combustable.
DUO is playing with TURPENTINE!
PU7 7|-|47 |)0\/\/|\|, p|-|00.
Hehe! It smells funny!
O_o;
SIR CHARGON is a little THIRSTY!
1'll 83 R16|-|7 84(|<, 45(11, 50 \/\/3 (4|\| 8477l3.
ASCII: Hµ®®¥ µþ îÐJît.
HEH.
SIR CHARGON returned with BOTTLED WATER!
DUO accidentally SPLASHED TURPENTINE in CHARGON'S BOTTLE!
SIR CHARGON didn't NOTICE this!
ASCII: wåtÇH tHî§..
Uh-oh.
I see where this is going.
\/\/|-|47 4R3 j00 74l|<1|\|6 480U7?
..nothing.
Heh heh.
4lR16|-|7, 50|\/|3 600|) 0l3 |-|20! ^^
SIR CHARGON used DRINK!
SIR CHARGON DRANK BOTTLED WATER!
What? SIR CHARGON is COMBUSTING!
SIR CHARGON COMBUSTED into PILE OF SIR CHARGON!
ASCII: î gµË§§ î wîñ.
JASON ROSS appeared!
JASON ROSS: Kick Warning -- Excessive use of ASCII
What? Heya Jason!
Jason...you updating the network?
ASCII: wHåt å®Ë ¥öµ tå|kîñg åßöµt?
*** ASCII was KICKED from #storm by JASON ROSS (Excessive use of ASCII)
JASON ROSS wins!
HA!
GOOD JOB!
All hail... JASON!
DITTO: All hail..DONUT! ^_^;
Where'd he come from?
His mother's womb.
But Dittos are Genderless.
Then... wait a sec... O_O;;
Alright... so much for Sir Chargon as an applicant..
JASON ROSS: I gotta get goin', see you Storm Version!
See ya.
Bye Jason.
JASON ROSS disappears in a CLOUD of..
..RSACI.
o_o;
Heh.
Bring in the next applicant.
Okay, come in Miste-
Player: Co-Webmaster Applicant
I'm here to apply for a job as a Pokebattles Storm Version Co-Webmaster.
Alright, first off...
Have you owned previously or currently own a pokebattles website?
Yes..in matter of fact I own-
Thank you, we will now put you through a few tests in which your life-force may flicker for a few seconds.
Um..is this safe?
Of course. We just have to see if you are Storm Version material.
APPLICANT was put into LARGE CONTAINER OF JELLY-LIKE SUBSTANCE!
DOOR on CONTAINER was CLOSED!
Hm... the screen says he must always have a plotline...hn...
I hate plots. I guess we could deal with it, right?
It also reads that he...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Epilogue
Author:
Sheep
Hmm...this candidate passed the tests, Duo.
With flying colours...
There's no other applicants left...
He will be train-er...a webmaster then?
It's no good. He's too old.
Wha?
Er..oops, must have lost concentration there.
Uh huh.
Well, I think he could be a powerful asset to our team.
I agree.
But, when he wakes up, he won't remember any of this.
Huh?!
Ugh, sorry again. Not fully awake today.
Right...
DOOMP-Er...WEBMASTER IS COMING!
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Battle #8: The Webmasters Guide to Hiring Someone - A Trilogy in Three Parts
Part One: The Meeting Room at the End of the Universe Date: 25th, January, 01 Author: Sheep
DUO! Where's my coffee?!
GET YOU'RE OWN BLOODY COFFEE! I'M WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z! GOKU JUST FRIED SOMETHING!
AGAIN!
LAZY WEBMASTER! YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE! IT'S A WONDER I DON'T JUST...KICK YOU OUT!
OH YEA?! YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO KICK ME OUT! I SHOULD KICK
YOU OUT!
...what have I told you guys about using caps?
SHUT UP!
ARE YOU TELLING ME TO SHUT UP?!
NO!
LISTEN! WE HAVE TO STOP ARGUING!
STOP SHOUTING THEN!
MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK!
I'M THE ONE WHO'S WRITING!
TAKE CAPS LOCK OFF THEN!
OKAY!
AH, THIS IS MUCH-HEY! IT'S STILL ON!
SORRY!
Right, let's see-ah, good.
Right.
Obviously, we can't go on like this.
Yes, all the shouting...
...and use of the caps lock key...
SHUT UP!
...
Okay, there's only one solution to this...
...yes, we'll have to...
...GET A NEW WEBMASTER!
...you two have no idea how horribly cheesy that sounded, do you?
SHUT UP!
Two days later...
Ah, yes, you say you used to be a compulsive eater?
CANDIDATE: "Still am!"
And you once designed a character that, whenever it did something, did it 'cutely'?
CANDIDATE: "Yep."
And you're obsessed with a certain number?
CANDIDATE: "Totally obsessed."
We're sorry, but you're not what we're looking for.
CANDIDATE cried as he left!
Well, that's our last candidate...guess we might be out of luck...
Hmm...perhaps we don't really need a new Webmaster...
You're joking! Who will get my coffee?
The next day...
Hmm...lucky we found this next
one...
Yes, he's due in in 5 minutes.
CANDIDATE entered!
Ah! Got up early for the interview, eh?
CANDIDATE: "Got up?"
Er...yes, anyway. What can you tell us about yourself?
CANDIDATE: "Well...there isn't a lot to tell, really. But I do enjoy killing off extras."
You do? Brilliant!
CANDIDATE: "Yes, it's been my hobby for a while now."
Here, have some green text.
Ah, thank you.
Now, in order for you to fit in here, you'll need to work with us. Let me introduce you to She-
*yawn*
I'm sorry, are we boring you?
No, it's just I didn't get much sleep last night...or the night before...or the night before that...or the night-
We get the point.
Ah yes, now, it says here you-good LORD! You're application is bleeding!
Yes, everything bleeds, you know.
Ah, yet another brilliant aspect of you, Mister...?
Ma-
'Like a drink?
Uh...please, yes.
What do you want? Beer, coke, orange ju-
ORANGE JUICE!
Er...right.
SHEEP left to the fridge!
Now, I'm VERY sorry about this, but if you were to join up with us...you'd have to get rid of your Mélissa character.
Oh? Why?
Well...it seems she's escaping Flame and coming here, to badger
my co-webmaster.
Badger him?
There's no other word for it.
I see...I guess I shouldn't have brought her with me then...
You did WHAT?!
SHEEP came back!
Ah yes, there's your orange juice, I hope it's good, and-ah! NO! NOT HER!
MéLISSA: SHEEPY!
AAAAH!
Run Sheep! Move! She's right behind you!
...why is she running after him?
He didn't think she was kawaii.
Oh, well, that should wear off in a few-
He said she was ugly.
RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S IN A FRENZY!
Several hours later...
Matt! You saved us!
It was easy.
It is my pleasure to welcome you to this versions staff.
Thank you, and may I say I'm really looking forward to working at Aqua!
Aqua?!
Yes, Aqua. You're Sabrina, right?
...
...
Of course you are. Hey, I was thinking. Are you free tonight? Cos I know this great place where we could-
GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!
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